The Queen has used her latest speech to announce the Conservative government’s intention of building a third, fully-operational Death Star. She has also assured the UK citizenry that we will ‘all be on it together,’ as there are more than 3 million toilets and waste compactor units aboard the latest murder satellite, and each one…
The European Parliament has been left in a state of befuddled exhaustion over the last few days, as every translator in the Union seemed completely unable to make sense of David Cameron’s nonsensical demands. One of the translators, Amelie Toblerone-Bratwurst had this to say: “I have over 20 years experience as an English translator,…
There has been a lot of speculation over the past few days about what Ed Balls would be doing next – the former MP hovering over the private sector like a portly condor, inspiring worry and nausea in all those below. The speculation ended this morning, however, as Ed Balls declared his intention of entering…
There are reports this morning that several of the Liberal Democrats that went missing after the general election have been spotted in the mighty and monstrous maw of Conservative polar bear-man, Boris Johnson. New information on how the ousted MPs came to be mayoral mouth-fodder has also been brought to light by a resurfaced, junior…
The treasury has admitted this morning that they have spent over £200 million on a briefcase colossal enough to contain the vast amounts of money that they plan on not spending in the next budget. A senior minister at the treasury had this to say: “This is going to be the big one,” the…
The Conservative party is in turmoil this morning after it was revealed that several party members plan to oppose David Cameron’s prospective criminalisation of the human animal. Human Rights have long been a political bugbear of the Conservative party, and most assumed that a Tory majority would obliterate the Human Rights Act quicker than a…
Following their well-received turd-flushing of The Human Rights Act, the Conservative government has now announced the follow up – a little piece of legislature that they have called ‘The Human Wrongs Act.’ The full Act has yet to be revealed, but The Hourly Terrier was gifted a sneak peak, and we have comprised for you…
It has sensationally been revealed that former MP and cat-man, George Galloway, was actually a spaceman-envoy from the Galactic Federation of Planets. George had been sent here to assess the planet for potential inclusion amongst the super-sentient intelligences of the cosmos, but the final verdict is that humanity has been found lacking. George had this…
In a surprising turn of events, the country of Wales has vanished from Great Britain, with geographers worried that it may have been missing for several weeks. Attention has been even further away from Wales than usual over the past few months, as an increasingly important Scotland scared the voters of England by threatening…
Nigel Farage, seen above, internalising his malevolent mind-banter. Picture taken from here. When Nigel Farage attempted to quit UKIP last week, the party were forced to reject his resignation, as he is still the only member intelligent enough to avoid being explicitly racist, homophobic, sexist, or just generally fucking nasty in public. To further…
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