The Department for Environmental Fuckups and Rainforest Annihilation has leapt into the 24 hour news-feed today with the announcement that they have initiated a blanket ban on all video games, Tamagotchi, and brightly coloured calculators. The ban came after a reality-crow sky-murdered a corporeal pig, leading our top, environmentally-involved politicians to jump to the conclusion…
After his historic re-election yesterday, Sepp Blatter has proudly announced to the media that FIFA is now completely free of corruption. Although he was scant on details about how he achieved such a fast turn around, one of his senior aides has provided us with further information on the wunderopa’s latest success: “It was simple,…
HBO are in a state of panic this morning, as viewers of their number one hit show have started reacting to it as if they hadn’t been desensitised by 30 years of ‘Donkey Kong,’ Gangsta Rap, and John Prescott. A former fan of the show had this to say: “Sorry if I sound a little…
The rational world rejoiced last weekend, as Ireland dragged itself out of the peat-bog of intolerance and sprinted off for the the summer meadow of homosexual marriage. In the aftermath of the historic event, however, the detractors of the law have been notable by their lack of public outcry. Their absence may now have been…
Following several, recent high-profile spats with the world’s most awful animal murderers, comedian Ricky Gervais has now turned his attention to the world of illegal Pokemon battling. Gervais’ agent issued this statement earlier today: “In Japan, there’s a word for people who make innocent Pokemon maim each other to death. I don’t know what…
Above picture taken from here. DISCLAIMER – This is a satirical website, and this is a satirical news story, i.e. total horseshit. Reports are coming in this evening that the former leader of the now defunct Liberal Democrats has updated his LinkedIn account to say that he is actively looking for work as…
In a shocking announcement, Godzilla has declared that he has signed an exclusive new defence contract with China, and will henceforth be severing all ties with his longstanding, Japanese allies. The current Japanese administration is obviously extremely worried about this latest, shameful betrayal. Commentators have noted that Japan has in fact been 100% reliant…
The European Parliament has been left in a state of befuddled exhaustion over the last few days, as every translator in the Union seemed completely unable to make sense of David Cameron’s nonsensical demands. One of the translators, Amelie Toblerone-Bratwurst had this to say: “I have over 20 years experience as an English translator,…
It was reported earlier this week that users of cannabis were up to three feet shorter than their non-hip peers, but we can now reveal that the herbally inclined are in fact just extremely inefficient at measuring their own height. The scientist in charge of the report, Philip Woopsie had this to say, in the…
The UK Avengers – a team comprised of Captain Hammersmith, Chav Widow, Pigeoneye, The Insufferable Sulk, Tweed Man, and Immigrant Norse Alien – have announced today that they will be on strike this bank holiday Monday, despite the fact that this is exactly the sort of occasion upon which Britain’s enemies are most likely to…
The Hourly Terrier 